What Is Sexual Narcissism?

Sexual narcissism is characterized by an inflated perception of one’s sexual prowess and a sense of entitlement to sexual experiences, often disregarding a partner’s desires or consent. This self-centered approach to sexuality can make relationships particularly challenging, as the sexual narcissist prioritizes their own satisfaction above all else. 

Partners of sexual narcissists often find themselves manipulated, demeaned, and emotionally drained, struggling to maintain a healthy balance in the relationship. Understanding the dynamics of sexual narcissism is crucial for recognizing its impact and working towards healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

What Is Sexual Narcissism?

Sexual narcissism is characterized by an inflated perception of one’s sexual prowess and entitlement to sexual experiences, regardless of the partner's desires or consent. Individuals with this trait often prioritize their own sexual satisfaction above all else and may manipulate or demean their partners to maintain control and superiority in the relationship.

What Are the Characteristics of Sexual Narcissism?

Sexual narcissism is characterized by specific behaviors and attitudes that center around one's own sexual desires and self-image, often at the expense of their partner's needs and feelings. These characteristics include self-centeredness, entitlement, and a lack of empathy.

• Self-centeredness: Individuals with sexual narcissism prioritize their sexual satisfaction and desires above all else. They may be preoccupied with their appearance, performance, or pleasure during sexual encounters.

• Entitlement: Sexual narcissists often feel entitled to special treatment in the bedroom. They may expect their partner to fulfill their sexual desires without considering their partner's preferences or boundaries.

• Lack of empathy: Empathy, which involves understanding and sharing a partner's feelings and needs, is often lacking in individuals with sexual narcissism. They may disregard their partner's emotional or physical discomfort during sexual activities.

• Manipulation: A few people with sexual narcissism might use tricks or pressure to make sure they get what they want sexually. This can lead to an insufficient balance of power in the relationship.

• Difficulty with intimacy: True intimacy, which involves emotional connection and mutual satisfaction, can be challenging for sexual narcissists as they primarily focus on themselves.

Recognizing these characteristics is essential for individuals and couples to address sexual narcissism and work towards healthier, more fulfilling sexual relationships.

Sexual Narcissism Vs. Healthy Sexuality

It's crucial to distinguish between sexual narcissism and healthy, fulfilling sexual relationships characterized by consent, open communication, and emotional intimacy.

Consent

In a good sexual relationship, both people agree willingly to do sexual things, and they respect each other's limits and desires. But with sexual narcissism, one person might push or force their partner into sexual acts without caring whether their partner is comfortable or wants to do it.

Communication

Healthy sexuality thrives on open and honest communication between partners. They discuss their desires, boundaries, and preferences, ensuring both feel heard and valued. In contrast, sexual narcissism often involves one-sided conversations, where one partner's needs dominate the discussion, leaving the other's unaddressed.

Emotional Intimacy

Healthy sexual relationships foster emotional intimacy, where partners connect on a deeper level, enhancing the overall experience. Sexual narcissism prioritizes physical pleasure over emotional connection, neglecting the essential bond that makes sex more meaningful.

Subtypes of Sexual Narcissism

Sexual narcissism can manifest in various subtypes or variations, shedding light on the complexity of this issue:

Exhibitionism

Some individuals with sexual narcissism strongly desire to be the center of attention in sexual encounters. They may engage in behaviors like flashing, sexting, or voyeurism to fulfill their need for admiration and validation.

Manipulation

This subtype involves using sexual tactics to gain power and control over a partner. Individuals may employ emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, or deceit to ensure their sexual desires are met while disregarding their partner's feelings or consent.

Objectification

Sexual narcissists view their partners primarily as objects for their own gratification. They prioritize their pleasure and may disregard their partner's emotions, needs, or boundaries.

These subtypes illustrate how sexual narcissism can take on different forms, all characterized by a self-centered approach to sexuality that neglects the importance of mutual consent, respect, and emotional connection. Recognizing these subtypes is vital for individuals and couples seeking to address and navigate issues related to sexual narcissism within their relationships.

What Causes Sexual Narcissism?

Sexual narcissism, like other forms of narcissism, can stem from a combination of factors. These include:

Childhood Experiences

Early experiences of neglect, abuse, or inconsistent caregiving can play a role in developing sexual narcissism. Individuals who did not receive adequate emotional support during childhood may seek excessive validation and admiration in their adult relationships, using sexuality to gain approval.

Self-Esteem Issues

Individuals with low self-esteem may use sexual prowess to boost their self-worth. Their preoccupation with their sexual image and performance may be a compensatory mechanism to mask underlying feelings of inadequacy.

Personality Traits

Certain personality traits, such as entitlement, grandiosity, and a lack of empathy, are common in narcissistic individuals and can contribute to sexual narcissism. These traits can lead to disregarding their partner's needs and boundaries in favor of satisfying their desires.

Understanding the potential causes and origins of sexual narcissism is essential for developing effective strategies to address and manage this behavior. It often requires therapy, self-reflection, and a willingness to explore and change deeply ingrained patterns of thinking and behavior related to sexuality.

Manipulative Tactics and Boundary Erosion in Sexual Narcissism

Sexual narcissism can show up as problems with respecting limits, getting permission, and using their partner badly in close relationships. People with this trait might ignore what their partner says are off-limits, and push their partner to do things they don't want to do. Sometimes, they might not even care to get permission, because they care more about what they want than what their partner wants. This can make their partner feel like they're being forced or tricked into things.

Diagnosing Sexual Narcissism

Diagnosing sexual narcissism can be challenging, as it often overlaps with broader personality disorders such as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Mental health professionals assess sexual narcissism by considering a person's consistent patterns of self-centeredness, entitlement, and lack of empathy in sexual relationships. They may use clinical interviews, standardized assessments, and observations to evaluate these behaviors and their impact on the individual and their partners. 

However, distinguishing sexual narcissism from other personality disorders and addressing it may require a comprehensive assessment considering various factors, including an individual's upbringing, past relationships, and overall mental health.

Treating Sexual Narcissism

People facing sexual narcissism can get help in a number of ways. Talking to a therapist on their own, using techniques that help them understand why they act this way, can be helpful. When sexual narcissism has caused problems in a relationship, couples counseling can give both partners a safe place to talk, set limits, and understand how they can make each other happy.

Also, being part of support groups can let people who've gone through similar problems come together and understand each other better, which creates a sense of belonging. These therapies aim to help people with sexual narcissism learn to have a better way of being close to others, build emotional bonds, and make their self-centered actions hurt them and their partners less.

How to Deal with a Sexual Narcissist

Effective communication and establishing healthy boundaries are crucial when dealing with a sexual narcissist. Expressing your feelings and concerns openly but constructively is essential, using "I" statements to avoid blame. Encourage your partner to listen and empathize with your perspective. Set clear boundaries regarding acceptable and unacceptable behaviors, emphasizing the importance of mutual respect. Consistency in enforcing these boundaries is critical. 

Seek support from a therapist or counselor if needed to facilitate these conversations. Ultimately, open and respectful communication and well-defined boundaries can help navigate the challenges posed by a partner with narcissistic tendencies while striving for a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

Closing Thoughts: Sexual Narcissism

Sexual narcissism can severely impact relationships, leading to emotional distress and a lack of genuine intimacy. If your mental health has suffered due to a relationship with a sexual narcissist, remember that help is available.

At The Forge Recovery Center, we offer a team of mental health professionals and a range of therapies to support your healing journey. Don’t hesitate to reach out — call us today for the support you need to reclaim your well-being and build healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Written by

The Forge Recovery Center

Reviewed by

Jeremy Arzt

Chief Clinical Officer

February 15, 2025