Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder in Women Different From Men?

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a complex mental health condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive attention, and a lack of empathy for others.

Understanding narcissistic personality disorder in women is crucial, as it often presents differently than in men, impacting relationships and mental well-being uniquely.

Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder in Women Different?

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can manifest differently in women compared to men. While men with NPD often display overt narcissism characterized by arrogance, entitlement, and a need for dominance, women may exhibit more covert traits and different types of narcissism.

Differences in Appearance

Women with NPD might appear shy or insecure, masking their narcissism with a façade of humility. They are often more sensitive to criticism, displaying heightened emotional reactivity and dependence on validation from others​​​​.

Different Ways of Expression

Societal influences play a significant role in these differences. Cultural expectations, gender norms, and persona shape how narcissistic traits are expressed. Women are often socialized to be more relational and attuned to others, which can result in a subtler form of narcissism.

Charm and Manipulation

Women might use charm and social manipulation to achieve their goals, presenting a caring and supportive persona while hiding their true self-serving motives. This manipulation can make female narcissists more challenging to identify, as their behaviors are often perceived as nurturing or protective rather than domineering​​​.

Understanding these gender differences is crucial for accurately diagnosing and treating NPD, ensuring that women receive the appropriate support and intervention.

How Common Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder In Women?

Narcissistic personality disorder is less common in women compared to men. Research suggests that men are more likely to be diagnosed with NPD, but this could be due to underreporting or misdiagnosis in women. It is important to consider societal norms and expectations that may influence the prevalence of NPD in women.

There is a misconception that women narcissists are not as violent and mentally abusive as men. This can be due to societal pressure, where men are less likely to speak aloud about their treatment. Shame, embarrassment, and mockery stop them from sharing such incidents.

Many wrongly perceive female narcissists as more tolerable and nicer than men. It is another misconception as they both can be equally manipulative, abusive, and sadistic. Like male narcissists, female ones, and men can also appear to be charming and the life of the party.

However, behind the doors, they can abuse their victims. They can be as much of a bully, with a sense of entitlement and apathy, as men. However, it should be noticed that certain traits are different from those of male narcissists.

Common Traits of Female Narcissists

Female narcissists often exhibit distinct traits that set them apart from their male counterparts. Understanding these traits can help in identifying and addressing the disorder effectively.

Vanity and Preoccupation with Appearance

Women with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) tend to be excessively concerned with their physical appearance. They often engage in extreme dieting, excessive cosmetic procedures, and an obsession with their looks. This preoccupation stems from their desire for admiration and validation based on their physical attractiveness​​​​.

Use of Sex Appeal for Manipulation

Female narcissists frequently use their sex appeal as a tool for manipulation. They may dress provocatively or use flirtation and seduction to exploit others, gaining financial or social benefits. This behavior highlights their need for control and their tendency to view relationships as transactional rather than genuine​​.

Covert Narcissism: Insecurity and Sensitivity

Unlike the overt arrogance often seen in male narcissists, female narcissists can display covert narcissism, characterized by insecurity and heightened sensitivity to criticism. They might appear shy or reserved, using a façade of vulnerability to elicit sympathy and manipulate others. This covert behavior can mask their underlying narcissistic traits, making them harder to identify​​​​.

Emotional Reactivity and Neediness

Female narcissists are typically more emotionally reactive than their male counterparts. They may exhibit intense mood swings and a high level of emotional sensitivity. Their neediness often manifests in a constant demand for reassurance and validation from those around them, reflecting their deep-seated insecurities​.

Recognizing these traits is crucial for understanding and addressing the unique challenges posed by female narcissists.

Misconceptions About Female Narcissists

Many people mistakenly believe that female narcissists are less harmful than their male counterparts.

Female Narcissists Aren’t Less Harmful

This misconception stems from traditional gender stereotypes that portray women as nurturing and less aggressive. However, female narcissists can be equally, if not more, damaging due to their subtle and manipulative behaviors. Their actions often go unnoticed because they use social and emotional manipulation, making their harmful effects harder to detect and address​​​​.

The Reality of Emotional and Psychological Abuse by Female Narcissists

The reality is that female narcissists are capable of severe emotional and psychological abuse. They employ tactics such as gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and playing the victim to maintain control and dominance in their relationships. These behaviors can lead to significant psychological trauma for their victims, including anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. The emotional manipulation used by female narcissists can be deeply damaging, often leaving lasting scars on those they abuse​​​.

Understanding these misconceptions and the reality of female narcissists' behaviors is crucial for identifying and addressing the harm they can cause.

Female Narcissistic Personality Disorder Traits

Female narcissists are less likely to display their narcissist traits in the open. They have a tendency to appear totally appreciative, empathetic, and understanding. However, they are cold and calculative, with a streak of manipulating others to gain favors and achieve motives. A few common traits displayed by female narcissists are:

• Female narcissists are preoccupied with their thoughts, achievements, and feelings. They have no interest in others, nor do they feel any empathy for others.

• Pettiness and passive aggression have a big role to play among female narcissists. They are quick to shift the blame on others. They often become hypersensitive to the slightest of criticism and can even work towards taking revenge for it.

• Female narcissists are more addicted to social media consumption than males. They can obsess over getting more followers, likes, and engagement.

• They are highly vain regarding their physical look, appearance, and social media profiles. As a result, female narcissists can go for cosmetic surgeries and intense dieting programs.

• Physical attractiveness is key to manipulating others. They can use their looks and appeal to others to get what they desire. Being sexually provocative and wearing inappropriate dressing in employment can lead to dismissal, too.

• Women diagnosed with NPD are obsessed with maintaining their social status. They give much attention to worldly things such as luxury items, high-end brands, and other symbols of higher social status.

• Luring people by exhibiting how helpless they are. They can appear as martyrs or submissive to convince others and exploit them.

Causes and Risk Factors of NPD in Women

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) arises from a combination of environmental, genetic, and neurobiological factors.

Potential Causes of NPD: Environmental, Genetic, Neurobiological

Environmental influences play a significant role in the development of NPD. Parent-child relationships, particularly those marked by excessive adoration or severe criticism, can contribute to the disorder. Such inconsistent messages can distort self-perception, fostering narcissistic traits. Genetic factors also play a role, with certain inherited characteristics increasing susceptibility to NPD. Additionally, neurobiological factors, including brain function and behavior connections, are believed to contribute to the disorder's development​​​.

Influence of Childhood Experiences and Parenting

Childhood experiences and parenting styles are critical in shaping the development of NPD. Overprotective or neglectful parenting can significantly impact a child's psychological growth. Parents who excessively praise their child may foster a sense of entitlement and an inflated self-image, while overly critical parents can instill deep-seated insecurities, leading to compensatory narcissistic behaviors. Traumatic childhood experiences, such as abuse or significant loss, can also disrupt normal emotional and psychological development, contributing to NPD​​​.

Understanding these causes and risk factors is crucial for identifying and addressing NPD.

How Do Female Narcissists Differ From Male Narcissists?

Misconceptions and myths may create doubt that there are innate differences between the NPD seen in men and women. However, that is not the case. Just like there are extreme differences between male and female personalities, there is no stark difference in their NPD traits.

What sets them apart are the settings in which they socialize. Through these interactions and social settings, they can develop different personality traits. It is noticed that male narcissists tend to display their aggression openly. Instead of showing up behind closed doors like women diagnosed with NPD, males have explosive aggression. Males are also diagnosed with malignant forms of narcissism, which have an aggressive and sadistic nature.

What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Individuals with narcissistic personality disorders often have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for excessive attention and admiration. They may fantasize about unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.

What Are the Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Common symptoms and traits of NPD include a sense of entitlement, exploiting others for personal gain, arrogance, and jealousy. People with NPD may believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people. They typically have difficulty recognizing or identifying with the feelings and needs of others. This disorder can significantly impair personal and professional relationships, leading to challenges in social, occupational, and interpersonal functioning.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Treatments

There is no standard treatment applicable for treating conditions like narcissistic personality disorder. However, several treatment options are available to manage them.

There is a possibility that people with NPD also exhibit signs of depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders. They can be taken care of with the help of controlled medications. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has not approved any medication for treating NPD. So, there are no medicines for solely treating this condition.

Psychotherapy

People who are living their lives as narcissists can turn to psychotherapies to manage their signs and symptoms. Psychotherapies like talk therapy can be an excellent way of managing NPD. This therapy lets the patients learn to connect better in their relationships. They have to allow themselves to relate with them better to have an enriching, joyful, wholesome relationship. Instead of passive aggression, jealousy, and competition, patients recovering from NPD learn how to interact positively.

Psychotherapy can help in various areas of communication, such as maintaining healthy relationships, setting realistic goals for oneself, recognizing one's strengths and weaknesses, managing and dealing with one's feelings and self-esteem issues, coping with them, and improving relationships with peers and colleagues.

Can You Recover From Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Recovering from narcissistic personality disorder or any other personality disorder is not easy. It can take several years to experience any noticeable change. Personality traits are not easily changeable. It can take years to significantly improve narcissistic characteristics and traits. In this situation, many people quit their therapies, thinking it wastes their time.

One has to continue their sessions regularly and give yourself time to improve. Accepting problems and getting therapy is difficult, but sticking to the schedule is even more difficult. Connecting with the healthcare professional about the progress is better than discontinuing therapy.

It is best to go to the therapy sessions as scheduled and take medications on time. Most people experience improvements and notice better interaction with others. Besides, some lifestyle changes can be done along with going to therapy.

These lifestyle changes include recognizing and following healthy habits, avoiding addictive substances like alcohol and drugs, and practicing physical activities like yoga, exercise, and meditation. All this will help in changing negative habits and improving anxiety symptoms.

Facing NPD Challenges? The Forge Recovery Center Is Here for You

Understanding narcissistic personality disorder in women is crucial for identifying and addressing the unique challenges it presents. If you or someone you love is struggling with NPD, know that help is available. Left untreated, narcissistic personality disorder can wreak havoc in your life, isolating you from loved ones and leaving you feeling alone and misunderstood. Also, substance use and other dangers are serious risk factors if NPD isn’t treated.

The Forge Recovery Center offers personalized treatment plans to help individuals recover and build healthier relationships. Don't let NPD control your life! Reach out to us today and take the first step towards healing and a more fulfilling future.

Written by

Brian Moore

Content Writer

Reviewed by

Jeremy Arzt

Chief Clinical Officer

February 12, 2025